Mood Monday – New Week/New TBR!

How can it be the second week of October already? This week will be a whirlwind for me as I’ll be headed off to LA with my mom on Saturday morning for a quick trip to KoreaTown! Words cannot express how excited I am! It’s also the last week of the #housecupreadathon19 for October over on Instagram! I’m excited to see who is in the lead!

I am starting off this week with a brand new TBR! I am going to be reading The Wicked Deep and Blackbirds! Kelli (@starlightfaerytale) is going to the Morristown Book Festival soon so we are trying to read books from authors going to that event (Chuck Wendig). I’m also trying to fit in a few short books (Soulwalkers) and write some reviews! Lord only knows where I’ll find the time!

This weekend I read Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (gothic novella) which was Narrated by David Tennant, Rose Leslie, and Phoebe Fox! This audio drama was SO STINKING GOOD y’all! I mean it was legit like listening to a movie. The voice acting was just phenomenal! It’s a super short audible original, the book is about 100ish pages. This was written in 1872, 26 years before Dracula! The female vampire is in love with another woman! Yay LGBT in the 1800s!! I totally recommend this novella via audio!

I hope everyone has an amazing week!

TGIF – Who Else is Busy AF?

WOW! This week just flew by! I totally forgot to post my Thirsty Thursday new and upcoming release post! I might post that this weekend. Chuck and I have spent a lot of time redoing our nook’s flooring! The old owners put laminate over the hardwood so we tore out the old and installed stuff that looks like wood!

Don’t mind my crazy mess ūüėā we are going to paint the walls and of course clean up my shelves when everything is done! We still have some to go along the edges but hopefully that’ll be complete by Sunday!

I finished reading A Thousand Pieces of You last night and needless to say I’m not that impressed. I’m going to go ahead and finish the series and I will write a review for the series as a whole. Today I’m going to finish up To Kill a Kingdom, which I am reading for research purposes with my friend to help her with her book! Then I will get to The Wicked Deep!

I’ve heard some mixed reviews about this book, especially about the last page so I’m curious if I will feel the same way. I’m typically an easy raider because I rate critically rather than personally which I think is important. I can’t stand when people write books that are for younger audiences or forgenres they know they don’t like and rate the books poorly!

I hope everyone has an amazing weekend!

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The Time Traveler’s Wife by Aubrey Niffenegger (+blog)

I surround myself with stories because I long for my own. I know this seems dramatic, and I know that people have it worse than I do, but I rarely see my husband. Sometimes I wonder what is worse; knowing they will be gone for an extended period of time with the date to when you will see them again, or never knowing when they will come and when they will go. Even when we are together, often times we are apart. I’m watching the kids play while he’s out back mowing. We are visiting my parents but he’s entertaining my Dad while I’m entertaining my Mom. We visit friends but really depending on whose friends it is, he’s watching the kids so I can enjoy my time or I’m watching so he can enjoy his. I know he has to go because he has to support us, but it doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t make it hurt any less.

My husband pays the ultimate price for my emotional turmoil. The times we do spend together, I’m so worn out mentally that all I can do is let out anger because I don’t want to cry from exhaustion and feel weak. I hate feeling weak. I have a natural reaction of lashing out to protect myself and my feelings, because it’s so easy to be angry to mask how sad I am. He does an amazing job at loving me even when I’m being unlovable. He does an amazing job of staying when my words are screaming at him to go. So backwards, right?

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I started getting back into books when I found myself longing for something more. I needed ways to connect with my emotions other than the anger boiling inside me. It’s hard being alone with the kids day in and day out. A mother’s job is never done. Most days I operate with the assumption that I will wake up without him and I will put the kids to bed and go to sleep without him. I may catch rare glimpses of him if I wake up as he’s shuffling out of bed for work, or maybe he’s off early and comes home to kiss me before he leaves to go to his coaching job at his Alma Mater. My husband can only do so much; it pains him to leave and watch me stay. I miss him every moment that he’s gone. Our life of comings and goings reminds me so much of The Time Traveler’s Wife by Aubrey Niffenegger. I wonder if she wrote this book for future me.


I read this story a long time ago in college and it broke me apart. I fell in love with the star-crossed lovers trope but never actually knew the gravity of the story and what it would mean for my life when I reflected back. The prologue is depressing, mainly because I can see myself in Clare and I can see Chuck in Henry.

Clare says, “It’s hard being left behind. It’s hard to be the one who stays. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?”

Henry says, “I hate to be where she is not, when she is not. And yet, I am always going, and she cannot follow.”

After I read the book I heard a movie was coming out – the movie is just as good and just as heartbreaking. If you’re looking for a book that tip toes the line between fantasy and reality, that is so cathartic and will make you hold tight to the ones you have, this story is for you. I’m thankful something this emotionally taxing exists. It validates my feelings of Chuck’s comings and goings. It makes me feel like someone somewhere felt this loneliness in a world full of people. When I’m feeling sad, I enjoy reading sad books. I like connecting with those raw emotions. Not everyone is this way, some people don’t like to read about trauma when they are going through it – but I do and I am thankful for this books existence.


You may know me from my silly cooking stories, my kids being wild, my house full of cats, and my dogs who can’t catch treats worth a shit, I am very quiet. The photos I take reflect the feelings I have; I shift with the seasons. The darker outside it gets, the darker my photos get, the darker my mood gets. Some days I feel myself slipping away. I am eternally thankful for the Bookstagram community and the love and kindness they have shown me. Time and time again you all pull me from the depths and make me laugh, send me funny messages, engage in my content, and it just makes me feel *seen*. I hope that I give as much as I get, I hope that whoever you are reading this knows that I will be there for you, too. Just send me a message. You are not alone.

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The Severed Moon – Day 6

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“What stories do you tell through your attire? Are those stories true?”

The first moment that I start to wake, it’s usually because my fingers are numb. The baby sleeps in the crook of my arm all night and his head is heavier than you’d expect. I push down into the mattress and drag my arm out from under him and make my way out of the room. I avoid the creaking boards as I walk by Chase’s room and I look in the mirror.

I am tired. This is most definitely true.

I check my face for signs of sleep, brush my teeth, fix my hair back into a bun on the top of my head and then get him ready for school. I know I’ll be dropping him off so I’m not scared about what I look like. No one will see the fact that I don’t have socks on and it’s freezing temperatures outside, or that my hoodie I threw on has stains from doing the dishes last night.

I just can’t find the energy to care.

Some days I go to the grocery stores, I do try and at least wear clean clothes there. Most of the ladies know me and have seen me come in after dropping Chase and have watched Xander grow – they know he doesn’t sleep.

They know… they know I am so tired.

I go home and stay in the same clothes. I wait for my husband to get home and then sneak into the shower. I am renewed. The hot water scalds my scalp as I scrub with shampoo. I drag the razor along my skin in efforts to feel like I actually care about what I look like. I get out, I dry off, I twist my hair a top knot so that by the time it dries, it falls in loose waves.

That makes me feel beautiful.

I put on some new leggings, fresh underwear and a bra, a new shirt… depending on the weather, maybe a sweatshirt. It feels so good. I love the way that I feel. I love the confidence even a simple shower gives me. I tell myself that I’ll do this every day even though I know in the back of my mind that I won’t. It’ll be days of slow deterioration with my hygiene before I get the energy¬† to shower again.¬†It’s hard to be truthful about it. You’d think it’d be easy¬† to hop into the shower every single day and feel this good about yourself but time slips away in the rush of having a family.

I slip away.


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IG: rqdavis_

The Severed Moon – Day 1

07e92f6d-d7b8-4f4a-a0ae-9c13bc1d98c5-857-0000005ed4395753_file.jpgI bought Leigh Bardugo’s magical inspiration journal knowing that I’d¬†never write in it. I have anxiety writing in things¬†like that, hell I photo copy coloring pages so¬†I can do them again! So I decided to do my journaling in¬†this blog and will put them in their own category so I can easily find them! Some of¬†the blogs will be a story associated with¬†the¬†prompt, some will be my thoughts, maybe it’ll be a blog on something that I’m inspired by, etc! I’m just going to have fun! I figured what better to start a year long journal than¬†to start on your birthday!

Day 1 – “We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary.”

Today is my birthday and I feel like I’m wearing a crown! I’ve received so much love from the bookish community, my Instagram is full of people who love and support me and I just can’t thank them enough. I honestly wasn’t sure how I would feel waking up to being 31; however, I didn’t have to wake up to being 31 because I was so deep into reading Mistborn: The Well of Ascension that it was 1:30AM by the time I realized that I should probably go to bed. The magic system of Mistborn is so unique and the universe is unlike anything I’ve ever read. I am hoping to get the UK paperback editions of Mistborn era 1 and era 2 soon! I know that it’s going to be one of my favorites and I’m only halfway through tWoA!

Learning to wring magic from the ordinary is something I struggle with. Often I find myself lost in my negative feelings. Sometimes I have to take a step back and understand that magic is all around me. Simple things like a good book, a sunny day, cooking delicious food, my kids being healthy… I need to appreciate the magic from my family most of all; love. Loving and being loved are such special experiencing. You don’t know what life truly is until you’ve loved something with your whole being.

~Rachael